6 Demonic Spirits that Distract & Diminish Your Spiritual Effectiveness

We want to make you aware of six enemies of a nurturing heart, most of which we all deal with to varying degrees.

As we expose each, ask yourself who you completely defeated already. On the other hand, which ones will get a “comeuppance” after applying them? In brief fashion we will expose the enemy, spotlight a specific aspect of the foe, reveal to you a Friend of the nurturing heart, and end up at home base, all while shouting “Hosanna!”

Hosanna is not just a pretty name (matching our beautiful daughter!), it is also a shout for help and a declaration of praise. Both at the same time. Of course, you remember how they yelled “Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!” as Jesus rode on a humble donkey coming down the Mount of Olives into Jerusalem, one week before His crucifixion. As they spread out their garments and palm branches as a red carpet for Jesus, the Jewish pilgrims screamed, “Hosanna!”

They saw Jesus as a Healer, a Friend, a Rabbi, and the Rescuer from Roman rule. So they yelled, “Save us, O God! We believe You are sent from God! Bring us deliverance!” They were echoing Psalm 118 and declaring Jesus the long-promised Messiah.

But Hosanna is not just a cry relegated to Palm Sunday or a Hillsong anthem. The one-word acclamation also developed into an expression of praise for what God has done. When we utter “Hosanna” now in worship—privately or corporately—we are both asking for help (“Save us, O God!”) and giving Him honor (“Lord, we praise You!”).

It’s a double-edged sword in our mouth that reminds us who we are dependent on and who has already been our Helper! I love shouting “Hosanna,” especially when I’m not frantically looking for our daughter! We will employ this shout at the end of each enemies’ exposure to confirm our dependence on our good God to equip us to be the best mentor ever.

1. Busyness

Oh my goodness! Can’t we all relate to being busy in our fast-paced world? What is wrong with busyness? Nothing, unless your busyness has become “artificial significance,” or if it causes you to neglect the people placed in your life. If overexertion makes you feel more important, running here and there, because you feel valuable, check your heart. Projects and promotions don’t endure forever; people do! Busyness can become an enemy of the nurturing call God has deposited in us.

Not saying “no” enough or refusal to delegate can lead to rising stress levels and short fuses. That’s never a good recipe to cook for your team. What is the “great” that God wants you to say yes to—and the “good” He wants you to trust Him for? To whom can you delegate some tasks, even if they won’t do them as well as you, or may even fail? Those who do the task will learn and you will have multiplied yourself, while having more time for the most important thing in life—people.

I desire to enter each team meeting and every one-on-one with a full tank. You say, “That’s not possible!” Don’t worry, I’m not ignorant of tiredness, limits to strength, and things that wear us down. Of course those are real. I also know that “they who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength” and waiting is something I’ve learned to do when I want to give myself fully to the one in front of me. Whether it’s taking time in my office between meetings or in the car as I pull up to the appointment, in three minutes or less, I set my mind on things above. I ask for a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit, and I remind myself that I love my team and people individually! I renew the truth in my head and heart that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I remind myself that I have Solomonic wisdom, especially when I feel dull. And I remember that the Holy Spirit inside me is much stronger than my weakness! This quiet moment sets me up for success, defeats the enemy that would keep me from excelling in my nurturing gift, and gives me freedom to be myself to give away all the good that comes with me.

(I often do this three-minute reset when sitting in my car outside of Walmart. I remind myself I’m not too busy to love on people while shopping, smile, say kind words, and talk about Jesus to anyone God has set me up to encounter. I have to do this prep, or else in my hurried state of mind I go in and out of the store without thinking about anything but myself, my list, and getting home as soon as I can!)

I desire to enjoy my mentees, not just endure them. They are God’s gift to me and I need strength to treat them as such. The Gift-giver is always faithful to come through.

Spotlight to expose the enemy

Every month, sit down with the Holy Spirit and ask Him, “How much of my schedule is Your idea? What do I need to let go of and trust You?” Every year, have a conversation with your spouse and someone on your team to discuss and pray through feelings of busyness. Then decide what are the priorities for the next year.

Friend of the nurturing heart

Incorporate a weekly Sabbath in your schedule that the world might not understand—just like they can’t believe Chick-fil-A is not open on Sundays! Ask God where else He wants you to rest or margin.

Home base

I feel lost in my busyness. Hosanna! Save me, O God! God is the CEO of the universe. He’s not too busy for me and seven billion others. I can call on Him 24-7. I don’t get a busy signal. If He can take care of the globe, I can do everything He calls me to do! Hosanna!

2. Exaggerated Self-importance and Self-Consciousness

Both of these characteristics derive from pride. One is thinking too much of yourself; the other thinking of yourself too much. The fruit of self-importance is outright pride. The consequence of self- consciousness is false humility. Both enemies seek to make the next meeting or an upcoming appearance about you. “I’m really too good for this next meeting!” or “I’m not good enough to facilitate this next engagement!” Either way, those sentiments make it about you and, not sorry to remind you, it’s not about you. It is only in the sense that you are the conduit God has chosen to use to pour out refreshing on those He has called you to serve.

 Mentoring is a selfless act. It’s all about your students. It’s not meant to take you up another rung on the ladder to notoriety. It’s not supposed to meet our needs, but their needs—so they can fly higher and farther than us. Parents have needs that must be met, but don’t expect your “kids” to do that. In fact, you may receive nothing back. This call to nurture the next generation is all about exalting others!

 Susan and I love taking part in personality tests. Doesn’t everyone like learning about themselves? It’s fun to see if these inventories can confirm what we already know. But too much emphasis on our personality can lead to wrongful self-importance or self-consciousness. And don’t allow the latest personality test to keep you from taking risks and giving your all. The inventory might say you are “shy” or “mostly introverted”; Jesus says, “You have the fullness of Me in you!” Your results may peg you as “analytical” or “more cerebral, less emotive”; Jesus says, “My grace is made perfect in your weakness!”

What would Jesus’ Meyers-Briggs, Strengthfinders, or Enneagram personality tests reveal? Don’t make excuses based on your temperament. Love and serve to the max, especially when it costs you something such as being outgoing when you desperately need some “cave time”; extending a meaningful hug when you are averse to physical touch in the moment; staying afterward, though tired, to give extra attention to a needy mentee, etc. Those are the type of sacrifices that please your Father! “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

The most authentic part of you—your spirit that is connected to the Holy Spirit residing in you—is humble and confident, all at the same time. It lacks nothing because its source is the Third Person of the Trinity. Your spirit has all wisdom for each moment, each question, each need, each person.

Spotlight to expose the enemy

It’s about selflessness. Don’t begin every decision process with your needs or preferences or capacity as the most defining aspect. Instead, begin with “What is the Father doing and what is His capacity?”

Friend of the nurturing heart

How much of your conversations becomes you talking instead of you listening? Take time to listen intentionally and wholeheartedly to the one in front of you.

Home base

You endured a lot more than drenched clothes for me! Hosanna! Lord, I praise You! It’s all about You! When I focus on You, it’s astounding what flows out of me. Hosanna!

3. Forgetting the Two Most Important Commands

Love God. Love others. Easy enough.

Not really that easy at times. I neglect this “easy” and inclusive mission statement for my life far too often. The first sign of being filled with the Holy Spirit is a river of love that flows more intensely. When we ask for a fresh baptism of love each morning, we’re asking for an increase over yesterday, a plugging of any leaks that happened overnight, and a resurgence of the power of the Holy Spirit to love Him and others more—even to another uncomfortable degree! Nothing is more important. Not good teaching. Not evangelism and sweeping souls into the Kingdom. Not leading large groups of people. Not book writing or presiding over nations. Not even truth is to be valued above love, but together are a double-barrel shotgun of impact. Without love, I am just a clanging cymbal, causing chaos and confusion.

It’s important to remember that these two commands originated in the Old Testament Law. Jesus was quoting Moses. When you think of Old Testament characters who loved well, who comes to mind? Many are worthy of the honor. I choose two. First, the prophet Hosea. Go marry an adulterous woman. She will be your wife. She will also become a prostitute. Now love Gomer again, Hosea, though she has been unfaithful to you. Hosea did. With all his heart! All I can say is, “Hosanna!”

My second choice is Jonathan, heir to the throne of his father Saul. He was no wimp or geek, but fully suited to lead the kingdom as a mighty warrior himself. Yet because he knew God’s will was that David would be the next king, he loved his “rival” with abandon, saving and protecting him, and giving his own life in battle. Oh, Jesus, let me love my students like Jonathan!

Love always works. It may seem to have the speed of a soaker hose as opposed to a firefighter’s hose, but seeping love plants the roots deep into the soil of God’s truth so that no wind can break the fruitful tree. Love is never wasted. You are love because He is love! He is a river inside you overflowing the banks, irrigating the landscape of lives you are called to nourish!

Spotlight to expose the enemy

How much of my schedule and budget are dedicated to expressing love to other people? Make it your goal today to love God and people well.

Friend of the nurturing heart

Jesus prayed for us that we would know that the same love God had for His Son He has for us (John 17:26). That’s a lot of love! Implant it, God! Just as vital: take time to regularly let God love you. We can love only because He first loved us!

Home base

The thunderstorm of disdain and self-protection is pelting me: Hosanna! Save me, O God! Enlarge my capacity to love like You, O Jesus. Take my Herbie Lovebug and replace it with a military-grade C-130 AirTanker that refuels other fighters in midair! Hosanna!

4. Forgetting the Grace We Have Received

When I become impatient with my students, it can be because I’m “so busy,” or my pride or insecurity is magnified, or I neglected to visit the Love Station recently, but also perhaps because I have forgotten how patient God has been with me. I know in my head about His long-suffering regarding my weaknesses and my constant coming to Him for forgiveness and strength, but my heart becomes familiar with His grace. That complacency breeds less than the full 1 Corinthians 13 patience in my interactions with others.

What if the apostle Paul had forgotten his Damascus Road encounter with Jesus? Did Matthew ever have a moment when he was not aware of his cheating, Rome-serving past versus who he was now in Jesus? Did Zacchaeus put a “signpost” on the tree so he never forgot the encounter with Jesus that transformed his life? What about Mary Magdalene? The woman caught in adultery? The little girl raised from death?

I have a feeling that Lazarus remembered very well getting sick and dying and then becoming a literal “dead man walking” out of the tomb! He was very vocal about that encounter and became the #1 miracle exhibit of Jesus’ love and power. So much so that the chief priests were fed up with the large crowds he and Jesus were attracting, so they “made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing [putting their faith] in him” (John 12:10-11).

Who was gracious and patient in mentoring you? How did they sacrifice for you? What are some things they did that developed you? Or if you still wish you had a mentor, what do you crave for someone to do for you? We all have many testimonies of “I once was dead but now I’m alive!” that can remind us of God’s grace lavished on us. Let those be the pilot light that roars into full flame when discipling grace is needed for our teams.

Spotlight to expose the enemy

Think of the person on your team you get most frustrated with—who seems to drain your grace bucket! Ponder what particular area of their life needs redemption and/or grace. Now imagine Jesus’ redemption dripping from the Cross just for that need!

Friend of the nurturing heart

Make a list of all the moments in your life, but especially this past year, when God’s favor brought a breakthrough to you. Not just for forgiveness of sins, but in covering love, protection, healing, or hope that exceeded your expectations. Let it bring a fresh awareness of how gracious God has been to you!

Home base

I once was lost, but now I’m found! Hosanna! Lord, I praise You with all that is within me! Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine. Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine. Heir of salvation, purchase of God, born of His Spirit, washed in His blood!1 Hosanna!

5. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Did Judas the disciple deal with FOMO? I know he was a thief, probably greedy, but did his love for a little extra cash ultimately lead him to betray his good Friend? I think it was more than that. Did Judas think Jesus wasn’t moving fast enough to obliterate the Romans? Did he think that if he forced Jesus’ hand with a confrontation, Jesus would finally use His heavenly judo and take His rightful throne? Was Judas afraid that he would miss out on becoming the treasury secretary of Jesus’ administration? He realized too late that because of his fearful actions, he lost both his Friend and his expected position. It was too much for him to bear.

Busyness can make us less attentive; fear of missing out preoccupies us so much we never give ourselves fully to our mentees. In fact, we actually release to them anxiety and restlessness, the opposite of what we desire to give.

Mentors have dreams too. We want to impact our team members. Many of us also want to leave a mark on the world. That’s how God made us. Are we able to trust for our future desired influence the same way as we trust God in the midst of trials or loss? Are we better at submitting to the King during trouble, knowing He will work all things for our good, than when we didn’t receive the promotion we deserved or have no expanding outlet for our gifts? Are we able to “count it all joy” even when “hidden”? This was one of my greatest struggles that kept me from being fully present with my students until I nuked the lie of FOMO using the 21-Day Detoxing in Caroline Leaf’s book Switch On Your Brain. I urge you to get the book and detox all the lies that plague your life.

Entrust your desires to God. He wants you to thrive more than you do. He wants to use you in your sphere of influence for mentoring and shifting culture more than you do. You can trust Him. He has perfect timing!

Spotlight to expose the enemy

Note where you feel anxiety and restlessness. What am I afraid I am going to miss out on? Ask God, “What lie am I believing in this situation?”

Friend of the nurturing heart

In the areas identified, ask God what His truth is. Intentionally renew your trust in His timing and His heart toward you. Then ponder this quote by Dan McCollum: “God can prepare a person their whole life to do more in one day than others do in their whole life!”

Home base

You always come back for me! I can’t miss You! Save me, O God! Hosanna! God is not in a hurry! There is no lack of time, resources, and opportunities in Heaven. I live from Heaven to earth! (Deep breath) I will relax into Him! Hosanna!

6. Spirit of Rejection

This might be the most ferocious of all the enemies we are defeating today. Perhaps the second greatest command alluded to in Enemy #3 is hard to swallow: Love one another as much as you love yourself. Why? Because you have a tough time loving yourself. Or believing that anyone else could truly love you if they knew the real you. Don’t stop reading. You are not alone or uniquely flawed. We have good news for you.

You don’t just feel “less than” or insecure around others, including your team. You feel like no one really accepts you, understands you, and you feel like an orphan even in a crowded room of peers. As much as you try—and you probably work harder at it than others—you can’t seem to connect with your team at a deep level. Very often, in other spheres of life, you experience the same. In other cases, you may look like you have it all together and people think so too. People and teams appreciate you, but rejection seems to sneak up on you and take away your joy and fulfillment.

You find yourself constantly overanalyzing how people are experiencing you. You try to love others, but often it is misunderstood. Because this has happened so many times, you protect yourself from getting too close to others. And though you know better, you sabotage friendships so that you never have to face rejection again.

Entire books have been written about this subject. We want to encourage you with what God says about you. He cannot lie, nor does he flatter:

For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth (Deuteronomy 7:6 NKJV).

If you don’t live in this reality, this is a great season for an upgrade. You really are all these things and the Holy Spirit wants to remind you of that every day. (Take a screenshot and print this list?) We’ve seen in our own family how one can move from orphan to beloved son, so we release a spirit of adoption upon you that you may know your full value to God. May you rest in the fact that He simply adores you, sees you, knows you, and holds you!

Spotlight to expose the enemy

In what relationships do you feel fear of rejection lurking around the corner? What risk are you afraid to take for fear of rejection? Tell God, “Lover of my soul, I give You permission to show me the truth and begin the freedom process.”

Friend of the nurturing heart

We recommend two friends in the form of books that have aided us in our spirit of adoption journey: The Supernatural Ways of Royalty by Kris Vallotton and The Search for Significance by Robert McGee. You won’t be sorry.

Home base

I am Your sought-after child! Lord, I praise You! Hosanna! I don’t have time to be mealymouthed, jealous, or feel small—I have a calling on my life to release the opposite! Hosanna!