“My Marriage Broke Conventional Christian Rules’’
Most Christians would argue that dating an unbeliever is wrong.
But God did something amazing when I listened to Him and trusted His voice. Here’s what happened:
My wife and I met on a video game forum back in 2009. We were both 16 at the time. That might not sound that crazy nowadays—lots of people meet on the internet—but the big difference was that while I was in America, she was more than 4,300 miles away in Estonia, a small country in north eastern Europe.
Meelika and I were (and still are) the best of friends. We’d write long emails and direct messages to each other. We would have video calls where we’d talk for hours over Skype with a 7-hour time difference. We’d talk about nothing and everything. When you connect with someone like that, sleep becomes optional. Eventually, those feelings of friendship blossomed into something more.
On Christmas Eve, I knew I had to tell her. I’m not sure if it was God finally giving me the go-ahead or it was my own desperation to share my feelings. But I knew I had to. Embarrassingly, it took me nearly all day to summon the courage. What I ended up offering was all that a sixteen-year-old boy could muster: a measly “I like you” to her.
She laughed and said, “Of course! I like you too.”
Dismayed, I quickly clarified. “No, no!” I said. “I like you, like you.”
“Yeah…” she said. “That’s what I’m saying.”
I was overjoyed! But seasoned believers know that when God delivers a major victory, the enemy will fight you tooth and nail.
Estonia in a Nutshell
As I mentioned before, Meelika is from Estonia. What you may not know is that Estonia is one of the world’s most atheistic nations in the world. The vast majority of Estonians are either agnostic or atheist. In 2008, Gallup found that only 14% of Estonians consider religion to be an important part of their life, lower than any other country they surveyed. [1] This started back in the 19th century as Estonian nationalists felt that Christianity was a tool to control the conquered nation by the Germans. The Soviet occupation of Estonia only accelerated this national atheism! [2]
That isn’t to say people aren’t hungry for God. Back in the Soviet Union, Meelika’s grandmother has told stories of where she had a group of friends snuck into an old church for Christmas. It was illegal to do so. Yet they stayed in the sanctuary of an old Lutheran church, quiet as mice. They had to flee because the authorities were actually searching churches to see if they could catch anyone there.
While some Pentecostals might say Lutheranism is spiritually dead, when you’re in a land that restricts God, any church is a beacon of light in the dark. Conversely and unfortunately, New Age beliefs are very popular over there too.
While I knew Jesus as Lord of my life, Meelika did not. She grew up in that atheistic environment. When I asked her what she believed, she said, “I am Lutheran.” Not because she believed it, but because she was baptized as an infant. Later, as I talked to her, she revealed that she didn’t have any strong beliefs on whether God existed or didn’t.
So, when we started dating that Christmas Eve, I knew I was breaking the rules. Though my parents were supportive of our relationship—they loved Meelika—I had been taught not to date nonbelievers. The enemy would echo verses I knew all too well: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Even so, I knew God had something special in store for us. I couldn’t explain it in the natural. I couldn’t even explain it in the spiritual! But I knew in my heart of hearts that He was going to do something and it was going to be spectacular.
My Summer of Love (and Spiritual Warfare)
In Summer 2010, my grandfather (who was enamored with our story, which was another miracle) paid for Meelika’s ticket to come to the States. It was her first time traveling alone. My heart melted when I saw her. After seventeen hours of travel, we got to meet each other face-to-face for the first time. She would be in the States for only 28 days. And what she didn’t know was during those 28 days, I would be contending for her salvation.
I laid her down on the altar. I talked to God and said, “I am pretty sure we’re supposed to be together. But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in You.” I imagined Jesus coming back and her being left behind. It tormented me. So I decided that if we were meant to be together, she would find God before she left. If she didn’t, I’d break things off with her. Though I loved her, I love God so much more.
It was hard. There was spiritual warfare, cultural differences, and a few spats. But also I fell deeper in love with her. Not only does she have a beautiful gentle spirit, but she’s also very beautiful too. There were so many times where I had to throw myself into the Word to get encouragement. I had to rely on Him.
And boy! She had me sweating!
An Altar Call That Changed Everything
Two days before Meelika returned to Estonia, we were watching an online church service. When the pastor gave the altar call as he did every service, something came alive in Meelika’s heart. While we never pressured her or told her anything, she knew that she had to say those words. She had to make Jesus the Lord of her life. Later, she’d tell us that she knew something was different about my family–beyond being a close-knit Italian family.
When she did, she innately knew she had to tell someone. Shyly, she approached my mother and said, “Hey, I kinda accepted that Jesus Guy.” My mother was in tears. The strong woman of faith that she is, she said, “Let’s just do it again, just in case.”
My mother called me downstairs and told me. In that very moment, I knew that God had directed our steps. I knew we’d get married. He had put us together not only for us, but to also contend for her family and her nation.
Thirteen years later, Meelika and I have both grown together spiritually. She’s inspired and helped me grow closer to God and build faith in Him. Plus, we both have the honor of working at Destiny Image to publish the prophets. To our excitement, some of Destiny Image’s books have even been published in Meelika’s native tongue, Estonian. And while we still are contending for the salvation of her family, I know that just as Joshua decreed “as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15) so will my family—both American and Estonian.
Notes
Crabtree, Steve; Pelham, Brett (February 9, 2009). “What Alabamians and Iranians Have in Common”. Gallup. Retrieved 21 February 2010.
Remmel, Atko; Friedenthal, Meelis (February 26, 2020). “Atheism and Freethought in Estonian culture”. In Bubík, Tomáš; Remmel, Atko; Václavík, David (eds.). Freethought and Atheism in Central and Eastern Europe. Routledge. pp. 84–110. ISBN 9781032173795.
